Have you ever had a pivotal moment in your life? I mean, a real “come- Jesus” moment that made you take a good hard look at your life?
I am taking you on my testimonial journey with Jesus Christ, and I will paint the picture of how my life was so horrible until God spoke to me one fateful day. The day was in my rack, and I clearly heard God speak to me, and He said, “If you don’t forgive your dad, I won’t forgive you.”
As you know by now, I am the farmer’s daughter and live in the beautiful state of Maine. I’m the oldest of five children, and I went to work as a certified nurse’s aide until I had to report for duty. I’m 22 years old and signed up for the delayed entry program to the United States Navy; there’s no going back now; this would be the first time I’ve ever left the New England States and the first time I’ve ever flown on an airplane. I was headed to Orlando, Florida. What in the world did I get myself into?
Flashback
I’m 7 or 8 years old, and I’ve had a dream in which I knew I would enlist in the Navy. I didn’t know how to join the Navy, but I knew it would happen.
Welcome to Boot Camp
Welcome to boot camp, where the weather in Florida is totally different from Maine. It’s hot and muggy, instead of the crisp and clear air I grew up breathing. Did you know it rains every day at 3:00 PM, at least for a short while?
Upon arrival at boot camp, I had the top rack, and two women were underneath me. We had to be up at 0400 in the morning and to add icing to the cake, we were abruptly awakened by a silver metal trash can clanging and rattling down the middle aisle. This indicated getting up and placing your feet “on the line.” You were given the day’s instructions and a certain amount of time to get showered and report back to the line. I didn’t particularly appreciate showering with many other women. I was very prim and proper, and my privacy was definitely being invaded.
Somehow along the way, I had won the attention of a Master Chief. This Master Chief had a grand idea for me to visit his sidewalk. This guy would find me and make sure that I was on his sidewalk and that I would be doing calisthenics as if I hadn’t done enough in the day. We did mountain climbing jacks, pushups, mountain climbers, jumping jacks, squats, you name it. I was doing it because he had it out for me and a few others. This didn’t bother me too bad because I was born and raised on a farm. One day he got in my face, nose to nose, and yelled at me. In my mind, he was a joke because I had had that done to me way too many times. I laughed it off. My spirit was already broken and numb to that situation.
After boot camp, I rode a Greyhound Bus to SK “A” school in Meridian, Mississippi. I quickly discovered that it would be in my best interest to be at the top of my class to obtain the top choice of orders. I did this by making it to second place in my class (a miracle), and my three choices were Norfolk, VA, Norfolk, VA, and Norfolk, VA. I knew I didn’t want an oiler because it was arduous and dangerous work. Many cables were hooked up alongside 2 ships simultaneously going at the same speed in the same direction. A line could snap, and someone is going to be a casualty. I didn’t want any part of that. As a result, I was on the USS Hunley AS31, and this ship was a submarine tender.
Welcome To The Navy
The USS Hunley AS-31 held all the parts, supplies, and materials for the ship itself and the submarine fleet we served. Once onboard, I was quickly shown my surroundings and taken to my berthing. I also found out where my workspace would be. It was then that I had the great pleasure of having the best Filipino Chief worldwide. He was so good to me. Filipinos have an excellent work ethic; my chief was no exception to this rule. He quickly took me under his wing because he saw I was a worker. He showed me the ropes and told me that I needed to get my qualifications done, which I did, and I was immediately able to settle into my Navy life.
I began dating a guy, but that didn’t work out, and then I started to meet another man; he turned out to be my friend, and we were married as time passed. I soon meet one of his friends whose name is Scott. Scott is getting to know me a little bit at a time. This is all well and good, but Scott doesn’t know me from a hole in the ground…or so I think.
One day during general quarters, basically a fire drill, I was going in one direction on the ship, and Scott was going in the opposite direction. I would look for him during general quarters times because I was interested in getting to know him as a friend. Time goes by, and things are going well enough until Scott comes up to me one day, looks me in the eyes, and says to me, “you have a mask on your face, and that is a fake smile. Whoa! What did he say to me? This question went right through my brain, and I went from my fake smiling face to immediately being insulted and from the insult to being angry. This man doesn’t know me from a hole in the ground! What right did he have to say that I had a fake smile, it spun in my brain, and it wouldn’t stop, and I was some kind of mad at him. Who does he think he is? We finished general quarters, and I can go down to my rack. I got in my rack; what does he mean I have a fake smile; what does that mean? I couldn’t stop thinking about him and what he said to me, and on top of that, this man had no idea who he had just spoken to. I was angry at him. Now you may think this is strange, but I’ve always been able to take what people have said to me and process it to see if there is any truth. Were their words, good or bad, speaking clearly about my character? So I began to think about what he said to me once I started to calm down.
Anger and Pride
When I’m that angry, just like anybody, it takes me a while to calm down, and all I know is that he had some audacity to speak to me the way he did. You see, because, in my mind, no one talks to me that way and gets away with it. You’re gonna pay for something like that, insulting me, calling me a fake smiler, and telling me I’m wearing a mask on my face. I had to admit that he was right when it came down to it. I honestly wasn’t happy, and I was wearing a fake smile. I didn’t fully understand the “mask” part, but once I thought about it, I must admit that interest was also genuine. I presented myself as a prim and proper lady with a fake smile, anger, and bitterness in my heart which was so deep that I had been swept under the table all those years. So you see, when you have people coming up to you that know God and love the Lord, they can come up to you and see right into your heart, and their ears are open, and they can hear what the Lord is saying to them for you, I knew what he was saying deep down in my heart was true. At that point, I decided I wouldn’t be angry at him anymore. I was left with the truth of my own being correct in my face, which was hard.
Has anybody done that to you? Has anybody told you the truth about yourself, and you knew it was true deep in your heart? Down deep in your soul? That’s what Scott did for me on that life-changing day. You see, the Bible says that you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free, and that’s why everybody needs an Uncle Scott.
Somehow I knew in my heart God wouldn’t have sent a woman to speak the truth to me. I would have been so cruel to any female that she would regret it for the rest of her stay onboard that ship. I was slammed full of pride and arrogance and so full of myself with the added bonus of having an anger and bitterness problem from the pit.
Take A Look At Yourself
Sometimes we have to take a look at ourselves. Sometimes people can say the meanest things to us. But what if what they are saying to you is the cold hard truth? Is it time to get quiet? It’s time, to be honest, and it’s time to reflect on where you are in life. I didn’t want to feel the feelings Scott stirred up within me. My feelings didn’t matter anyway. It didn’t matter anyway. Do you think that way? If you do, then good because at least you are feeling something! Now, I want you to do something. Tell God all about it!
The Disclaimer
Life Is A Journey Has your life been unbelievably hard to do you feel like everyone else’s life has been better than yours? Have you had some majorly crazy events happen in your life? Do you constantly feel like you’re going around the mulberry bush? I’m here to share the journey that God took me…
Restore And Renew Your Mind 